GAME OVER
http://paxilprogress.org/itstime.html
Darcy: 1, Paxil: 0
It's time. I have to go. There are giggling and ticklish things on my horizon that I have yet to touch. There are things I have to do before I can break ties, but the process has begun and should only take a couple weeks.
6 years ago, I had a problem. I was stuck on Paxil. I was just beginning to figure out that what I felt when I tried to reduce my dosage wasn't just a resurfacing of a current condition, but a new challenge called withdrawal.
I hated it.
I hated it then. Today, I'm completely and amorously grateful for it. That difficult challenge brought me through some incredibly rewarding growth, and the privilege of meeting all of you.
What you have all shown me since the inception of paxilprogress is that very few people believe how truly miraculous we all are, despite it being reality. We our own miracle waiting to be set free. We're heroes. In a world without validation nor an open ear, we walked forward hand in hand, trusting in our own abilities and achieved dream after dream. Like a set of dominoes where each weighed a million pounds, all we had to do was focus on toppling the first, and the rest began to spill effortlessly.
You also showed me that we each have our own first domino, and before we push on the collective one, we have to set our own in motion. You come first. Your first step is your step of change. You make it possible and give it to yourself. Once together, this happened Plunk. Plunk. Plunk-Plunk,Pl-Pl-Pl-P-P-P-P-P-P-R-R-RRRRRRRRRROAR.
The world took notice and change began; because of you, because of me, because of us. Thanks for teaching me how that works. Thanks for showing me how just by pushing one's own domino, a world is changed. All that is needed is consistent repetitive focused choice, and the rest just works itself out.
This happens when one takes the time to let go of needing to control the time it takes.
The act of letting go is magical like that. Most of us believe that things have to be pushed away, as if facing anxiety, depression or Paxil withdrawal is a battle. That couldn't be farther from the truth. All those things are nonsenses we've held closely to ourselves, and we have to let them go to be free of them. We've all noticed that takes quite a bit of effort. As convincing that is an argument for the "but it's a fight" idea, it's not that something is hard to let go of. It's that at the core of our beings, we are so devoid belief that we are the answer to ourselves, that we fight the walls we've put up. What you push through is not depression, but your construction of it. What you push through is not anxiety, but your mortar solidifying it. You've been brick building and have either not noticed, or are making yourself forget because that self imposed ignorance is what the world (friends, family, chance encounters, radio ad, media segment, doctor's counsel, whatever) has taught you to do.
I've been ignorantly fighting the idea of leaving paxilprogress. I had convinced myself it was difficult. My inner dialogue was full of: "But who will do what you've done? Does anyone have your experience with communities, forums, web servers, anxiety and Paxil? Will it take several people to replace you?" Etc. Andrea reminded me how egoic and silly all that was (and echoed by Laurie, Rita, Christie and more), and I was brought back from my little lull in wisdom. Change happens with letting go, and not while trying to control within a context of self identity. So whatever happens, however paxilprogress grows and changes, I have faith people will do what they can for each other with just as much passion, and let go. "Freedom is in you" MEANS letting go of rationalization and realizing that all is well, if you stop calling it unwell. And as backwards as that sounds when there are people getting hurt, it's just the necessary space to affect real changes that alleviate suffering.
read on - http://paxilprogress.org/itstime.html
http://paxilprogress.org/itstime.html
Darcy: 1, Paxil: 0
It's time. I have to go. There are giggling and ticklish things on my horizon that I have yet to touch. There are things I have to do before I can break ties, but the process has begun and should only take a couple weeks.
6 years ago, I had a problem. I was stuck on Paxil. I was just beginning to figure out that what I felt when I tried to reduce my dosage wasn't just a resurfacing of a current condition, but a new challenge called withdrawal.
I hated it.
I hated it then. Today, I'm completely and amorously grateful for it. That difficult challenge brought me through some incredibly rewarding growth, and the privilege of meeting all of you.
What you have all shown me since the inception of paxilprogress is that very few people believe how truly miraculous we all are, despite it being reality. We our own miracle waiting to be set free. We're heroes. In a world without validation nor an open ear, we walked forward hand in hand, trusting in our own abilities and achieved dream after dream. Like a set of dominoes where each weighed a million pounds, all we had to do was focus on toppling the first, and the rest began to spill effortlessly.
You also showed me that we each have our own first domino, and before we push on the collective one, we have to set our own in motion. You come first. Your first step is your step of change. You make it possible and give it to yourself. Once together, this happened Plunk. Plunk. Plunk-Plunk,Pl-Pl-Pl-P-P-P-P-P-P-R-R-RRRRRRRRRROAR.
The world took notice and change began; because of you, because of me, because of us. Thanks for teaching me how that works. Thanks for showing me how just by pushing one's own domino, a world is changed. All that is needed is consistent repetitive focused choice, and the rest just works itself out.
This happens when one takes the time to let go of needing to control the time it takes.
The act of letting go is magical like that. Most of us believe that things have to be pushed away, as if facing anxiety, depression or Paxil withdrawal is a battle. That couldn't be farther from the truth. All those things are nonsenses we've held closely to ourselves, and we have to let them go to be free of them. We've all noticed that takes quite a bit of effort. As convincing that is an argument for the "but it's a fight" idea, it's not that something is hard to let go of. It's that at the core of our beings, we are so devoid belief that we are the answer to ourselves, that we fight the walls we've put up. What you push through is not depression, but your construction of it. What you push through is not anxiety, but your mortar solidifying it. You've been brick building and have either not noticed, or are making yourself forget because that self imposed ignorance is what the world (friends, family, chance encounters, radio ad, media segment, doctor's counsel, whatever) has taught you to do.
I've been ignorantly fighting the idea of leaving paxilprogress. I had convinced myself it was difficult. My inner dialogue was full of: "But who will do what you've done? Does anyone have your experience with communities, forums, web servers, anxiety and Paxil? Will it take several people to replace you?" Etc. Andrea reminded me how egoic and silly all that was (and echoed by Laurie, Rita, Christie and more), and I was brought back from my little lull in wisdom. Change happens with letting go, and not while trying to control within a context of self identity. So whatever happens, however paxilprogress grows and changes, I have faith people will do what they can for each other with just as much passion, and let go. "Freedom is in you" MEANS letting go of rationalization and realizing that all is well, if you stop calling it unwell. And as backwards as that sounds when there are people getting hurt, it's just the necessary space to affect real changes that alleviate suffering.
read on - http://paxilprogress.org/itstime.html
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